Run the Planet, Save the World

My head feels like it's about to explode. This one blog post will singlehandedly denounce any semblance of my being a laid back person; consider this your warning.

A good chunk of my marathon training this summer will be taking place in the Philippines (and for a while in Taiwan), at least I hope. The daughter of immigrants, I used to return home every summer until high school, after which visits became sporadic. I have not been back since 1999.

Among thoughts of being thrilled to see my aging grandmother as well as the excitement of introducing Anna to family, is the pending dread of seeing my nativecountry in shambles. A circumstance that I am sure, will likely challenge my desire to run.

My social consciousness developed relatively recently and was largely inspired by the book, America is in the Heart. I consider it The Grapes of Wrath for people-of-color and found that after years of reading fiction, this was the first book that moved me to tears, that I related to, and that became the precursor to understanding my place in this world. In short, it is the story of the Filipino American and the struggles of many immigrant groups in this country. It is the story of the Americanization of the Filipino, an Americanization that that begins generations before the first Filipino immigrant set foot in this country. It is the story of America's imperialism and its silent past. It is the story that I was never told as the only Asian American in my Midwestern public education system and it is the story that now empowers and inspires my sense of social justice.

I have seen previews, however, of the dread over what I will see when I return home. Run the planet 'featured' the Philippines as a running location and of course, the commentary was provided by a European expatriate and business man now living in Manila.

When asked if running is an acceptable activity in his country, Pierre says, "In France we have a lot, but in the Philippines we are very very few. Mainly because of very hot weather and pollution in Manila". Pierre also mentions that a visiting runner should be warned about the heat, humidity, and pollution before running in the Philippines. He also notes that there are a lot of dogs to look out for while you run there.

That's right, Pierre. I'll bet that it's tough to run in Manila. What Pierre alludes to in his comments, is the state with which the Philippines' colonizers--Spain and the United States--left the country. This long socio-economic commentary and history of these circumstances are beyond the scope of this blog but are disconcerting nonetheless as a Filipino American living comfortably in the United States and as one who has greatly benefited (albeit with much critical analysis) from the promises of the American way of life.

The Filipino way of life was disrupted since the sixteenth century after which time Spain became our first colonizers. Land that rightfully belonged to the Filipinos was taken from them and divided up among the Spanish elite who then taxed those who tilled 'their' soil. This was the beginning of the social and economic crisis that took Filipinos off their land and way of life, and into poverty. A fate that was to continue under American colonization after the Philippine-American War. The United States used the powerful conquering tool of education, however, and established a western education system in the Philippines whose legacy continues today as classrooms are still taught in English (see Constantino's A Past Revisited or The Miseducation of the Filipino).

Now, the Philippines' economy is largely sustained by remittances of those among the Filipino diaspora (see Dean Yang's work on this subject). Should Filipino immigrants around the world discontinue sending money home to the Philippines, it is likely that the economy would collapse. A circumstance that is fiercely avoided by the current and corrupt administration of Arroyo who consistently seeks to mitigate this possibility by appealing to both the United States in her support of the War on Terror and constant appeal to Filipino Americans.

The reality is that 90% of Filipinos live in poverty. A fact that was displayed in an unforgiving and in-your-face Filipino American film, Cavite. While many reviews and descriptions of the film describe it as being a story of the Philippines' cultural wars post 9/11, I consider it a successful attempt at a call to action for all the conscionable Filipinos living abroad. Naked children running through the streets of Manila, headed home to their squatter camps, only to be greeted by swamps of trash, human excrement and the like is more than I can bear.

So as I sit here and worry about the obstacles being in the Philippines will bring to my running schedule and training, I also think about my future and how important it will be that I bring hope back to the Filipino in the Philippines and abroad. Our native land is not destined for corrupt government, pollution, western imperialism and poverty. And as long we continue to enable the current government with our remittances to family left in the Philippines, I send my support to the other political entrepreneurs out there who will be part of the next waves of social change.

Every person and child deserves to be able to run the streets without fear of pollution hazards as I so gratefully have the opportunity to do so here in the United States.

See what happens when I think about running?

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Workout Summary:

1 mile WARM @ 10:30
10 min @ 8:50
1 mile COOL @ 10:30

I cut my scheduled 5 mile tempo to a 3 mile tempo today. Despite purchasing a new pair of Saucony Omni 6's on Tuesday. The 'pad' or 'ball' of my left foot is still bothering me and actually not getting much better. Hopefully, the next two days of rest before the Dexter Ann Arbor 10K will help me out. Meanwhile, according to coolrunning.com, I'm going to look into buying some metatarsal pads at CVS.

My Birthday Obessesion

Despite my excitement for the upcoming race and fulfillment with my training and progress, I can't shake the recent disappointment of discovering that Chicago registration is closed. No big deal though, right? Run another fall marathon and get on that registration! Wrong. October 7th is my birthday and this year, I have it in my head that I'm going to run a marathon on that day. It's not a milestone birthday by any stretch, just another 20-something, but I feel that I have a lot to prove to myself this year. And my sense of unfulfilled ambition is growing stronger by the minute, much of which fuels my training.

As I sit in front my computer and look around my apartment, filled with books and photographs of loved ones, I realize that I have much to be grateful for. And as a little voice in my head tries to remind me everyday, never take what you have for granted because the moment you do (for those of you who are spiritual), they'll slowly be taken away from you.

That said, I have a healthy, happy, beautiful two-year-old daughter who inspires me everyday to be a better person. I have a loving and supportive community of people in my life who always help out in whatever capacity, our non-traditional family. I have a local community that I am involved with and feel that I have a vested interest in advancing the opportunities and skills of the next generation. I have a great job as a research associate and am basically paid to do exactly what I one day hope to do on my own. I am enrolled in a world-class University that inspires my sense of social justice everyday as well as my unquenchable search for knowledge--any other life for me just seems too boring. And finally, I have my health.

I always want to improve my relationships with my family and friends, however, and sometimes worry myself over some of the imperfections, forgetting so much of the good. I often feel that I don't give enough time to the community center that I am involved with and sometimes agonize over the next workshop or historical event in Asian American history with which to discuss with them. I overwhelm myself with school, never happy enough with the current paper and always thinking of the next. Worse, I let my journey to graduate programs, in hopes of one day entering the academy, often minimize all the work I have accomplished thus far as an undergrad. And my health? Well, it seems that I'm never fit or fast enough by my own standards.

I'm sure that all ambitious individuals have a similar sense of self-criticism, but I know that for myself, it will always be a constant battle to keep myself in check and to constantly exercise gratitude for all that I have in my life. Really, I know I should be so lucky.

A birthday marathon, however, is symbolic for me right now. Mainly because everything I have accomplished in my life has been a slow, diligent mileage build-up to get Anna and myself in a comfortable and fulfilling place in our lives. So, I'd really like to run this race for Anna as well--so that she can understand how important the day to day in life can be, the way training runs are so significant, yet fulfilling to the runner. And while I'm young and long from 'peaking', I want to honor my health and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Certainly, the benefits of diligent training inspire other aspects of one's life and I am no exception.

And speaking of training, I'm about to head out for my 6-mile tempo run. On the dreadmill. With my cheesey iPod playlists. Because it's stormy outside and cold (despite the record high of 85 degrees just yesterday). And I'm going to enjoy it (though I expect some pain). Because the Ann Arbor Dexter Run is exactly one week away, and I've been excited about running this esteemed and festive race all spring.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to keep on obsessing over my birthday marathon because I'm SURE that there's another October 7 marathon out there with my name on it.

***************
1:33 p.m.

For the past couple of runs I've noticed that the front portion of my knee is always stiff. The mild pain always subsides within the first mile but today, I noted to myself to make sure that I ice my knee once I'm finished. On top of that, it became very clear that I need to get a new pair of running shoes as well. The 'palm' of my left foot has been consistently sore due to wear on the soles of my shoe, I'm sure.

Workout Summary:
1 mile Warm-up @ 10:30
5 mins @ 9:30 Tempo
3 mins @ 11:00 Recovery
Repeat three times
2 mile Cool Down @ 10:30

Weight: 116 lbs

For Women Only 5K

I figured that today would be just as good as any day to get my feet wet into racing. So, last night, I diligently laid out all of my race gear, printed out maps to the race site and began to mentally prepare for the first of many races this year.

I headed for bed early only to be distracted by a marathon of Heroes! Woo hoo, time to catch up on missed episodes! Needless to say, I awoke the following morning a bit groggy.

My plan was to get to the race site at least one hour before start time at 8:30am. This was imperative given that I had yet to register. I was out the door at 7:15 and I was shocked -- I find that I am almost always racing out the door at least twenty minutes later than planned. When I arrived at the race location, it was so wonderful to see so many women and girls. I mean, I realize that the race is actually called For Women Only but I was really touched and inspired by all the mothers who were racing with the young girls in an effort to promote fitness and female power in the lives of their daughters. I thought, what a great, local Ann Arbor race to participate in.

With fifteen minutes to the start, I decided to jog around a bit and stretch out. I was feeling a little bit tight from my 5-miler yesterday and wanted to make sure that my first mile was as comfortable as possible. I lined up in between the 8 and 10 minute mile pace and befriended a friendly Ann Arbor local whose only goal for the race was to keep up with her 10-year-old daughter. Yay! Already, I can't wait to do fun things like this with Anna when she's a little bit older.

Wow. At 8:30am in the sun is pretty warm. Note this for the 10K in two weeks. I stuck in my ear plugs and waited for the start siren. I repeated to myself, just enjoy yourself and relax. Stay under 30:00 and let's call it a day. Then to my right I see camera-clad LCT and I waved with a silly grin like a little girl (see above pic), thrilled to have my own personal cheerleader. At the siren, I went out and fought tooth and nail to hold myself back but I zig zagged around the other runners t like the rookie I am to claim some space.

In the end, I didn't race the 5K like one ought to: all out. Instead, I stayed on *my* goal, which was simply to enjoy some female camaraderie and pin a number to my shirt for the first time in eons. I sprinted to the finish line after running comfortably throughout most of the course. Truth be told, I felt a little silly having not gone out harder when I saw my 26:42 time on the clock.

Woo Hoo!

Weekly Mileage Upkeep Revised

I've been trying to keep my weekly mileage steady until I feel ready for some hills and or speed workouts. When I feel good, I throw in some fartleks on Saturdays and if I'm feeling really good, I'll do a tempo run.

Mon: Rest/ XT
Tue: 8 miles @ 10:00mm
Wed: Rest/ XT
Thu: 3 miles @ 8:30mm & Strength
Fri: Rest/ XT
Sat: 5 miles TEMPO @ 8:55mm & Strength
Sun: 4 miles @ 10:00mm

So, as I sit here and type out my paces for my runs, I have to admit that I do so with a touch of disdain. Wow. Am I really that slow or is everybody else (at least those who blog) really that fast? Ah well. I always just chalk it up to a consistent (if not altogether debilitating) sense of unfulfilled ambition. I keep telling myself that I need to get my aerobic fitness up to par before I can start getting greedy with speed. Thank god for the Running Blog Family, at minimum, it keeps you humble!

How I Got Here

It's likely that I would decide to run a fall marathon and forget that this would mean training in the HEAT and HUMIDITY of summer. This fact couldn't become any clearer today when I strutted out of the office at lunch time for my weekly long run in The Arb (see pic) and found that it was 85 degrees! I was prepared though having downed three lemon flavored (my favorite) Propels the hour before my planned run -- bring on the heat!

Crap. It's hot. Don't bring on the heat, please. But MY GOD! I'M FILIPINO! ISN'T IT IN MY BLOOD TO BE TOLERANT OF HEAT?! Bring on the cool breeze only to be found in early morning runs. It wasn't the most graceful of all runs but I completed my 8-miler without succumbing to a heat stroke. I read once that when training in the summer, one ought to slowly acclimate oneself to the heat...Of course. That just sounds too sensible.

I need to admit that as a former soccer-playing-jock, I despised running. I was mystified by the mental game of the cross country runners and often thought of them as masochists to some significant degree. Despite running around 6 miles in a ninety minute soccer game as a midfielder, I rarely ran more than three miles on my own and when I did, I certainly didn't look forward to it. Looking back, I realize how different my mental toughness was in my adolescence. The team dynamic largely carried my inspiration on the field - this and the fact that I loved to play.

My how things have changed.

Beyond high school and college I discovered that staying fit can be a bit trickier; training solo can be depressing. But one day, I woke up feeling overwhelmed as a new parent, juggling a new town, adjusting to a whole new University. Worse, I was struggling with losing the last few pounds I gained from my pregnancy and for the first time in my life, I was bummed by the way I looked. Fed up, I went out for a run one day and it felt great; SO great in fact that I continued to run for months! With big plans of marathons and sub-4:00 miles (not really) -- Of course we know what this means: I over-trained and got ahead of myself! THEN more big life changes came my way and I fell out of step. But this time, I knew exactly what I needed to do to find my balance again: running and more generally, staying active.

So, here I am with a solid three months of 15-20 miles per week, an awesome bike to get me from home to campus (on most days) and to get me around some of the great bike routes around the area and a two-year-old that I can actually keep up with (again, on most days). Now that I can be proud of some consistency, I need to step up the level of my training. Now. Now that it's really hot out. Now that I have one of many races planned coming up this weekend. Now that I have a 10K and a half-marathon to look forward to on my road to the big bad Chicago Marathon (on my birthday) or Detroit (because it's close by).

My Next Run

These days, I've been investing quite a bit of time finding the best route for My Next Run. Thanks to mapmyrun.com, I've put aside much needed time on my research (and other people's research) in an overzealous attempt to be well prepared for My Next Run. YES, I think to myself, this'll be great! I've never run by the river in this area before and OOH, I definitely need to run in this neighborhood more often to incorporate more hills! Armed with my new iPod, I'm sure that my next run will be AWESOME despite running sans JZA.

The truth is, I sometimes forget that I need to actually bring a map with me or memorize the route before I head out for the run. Last week, JZA and I ran in circles through trails because of my blunder, though we did manage to create a route that was the 10-miler than we had wanted. (If you read my last post however, *we* didn't manage to actually complete the run strong.) And the other day, I found an amazing route around a park and had planned to bike over after work and then head home to prepare for the BBQ that was also part of my evening plans.

Instead, I ran what looked like--at least on the map--a boring route around the house. It WAS a boring route, that is, relatively un-scenic and along side big roads. On the upside, running by UofM's athletic compound and then The Big House was definitely inspiring. But more inspiring than the scenery was how strong I felt as I powered up the rolling hills, how much I love the sensation of hard work and sweat and how I feel as though I'm developing an intimate relationship with Ann Arbor as I run through an increasing multitude of her streets. With It's My Life blaring through my headset (nevermind that Gwen Stefani has built her career on misappropriating culture, I convince myself), I make a mental note not to worry about planning My Next Run.

I felt a little tight after my run the following day (yesterday) so in keeping with the philosophy of better-to-run-less-than-run-injured, I took a day off. Indeed, it was time well spent as Anna and I played all day in our back yard. Up and down the slide we went, push push push on the swing and then of course, after the 'Hum-on Mama, let's go eat' we had to go for a long walk to the local Vietnamese restaurant for lunch. After her afternoon nap, we hung out with our overachieving UofM friends over a bbq and realized how lucky I am to be in Ann Arbor (at least for now).

Now, it's time to prepare for My Next Run Later today...

Beat by the Heat

Three and a half more weeks until go time and I hit a big time wall yesterday during my run with JZA. Our weekly long run was doomed from the moment I thought that having Cold Stone's white chocolate ice cream a mere two hours before our run wouldn't be a big deal. I must have lost my mind.

This mistake, however, may have come a distance second to the fact that instead of hydrating myself with water all day I nursed my addiction to coffee instead. So, as we ran our comfortable 9:30 - 10:00 minute mile down through The Arb to the Huron River and up the Gallup Park trail, I knew right away that I'd probably gotten myself into a pickle.

After mile two, I felt the need to purge my ice cream mistake. While I managed to keep the goods in, I felt the humidity and sun pelting down on me as well as that awful sensation of thirst combined with heat provoked fatigue. Instead of jabbering the entire way, as JZA is accustomed to, he read right away that I was not in good shape.

By mile 4.5, I knew that I was losing the mental battle as well. I kept thinking to myself, my god, you haven't even reached the hills on the out and back yet - you're in a lot of trouble. Where are the F-ING water fountains in the park?!? Etc, etc. It was a very sad scene.

I reached my rope's end at mile 8. My stomach was churning, my upper right quad was aching and I was parched. JZA, at my suggestion, ran ahead of me and I was beginning to regret that I had let him go. At that point, I needed a piggyback ride home.

Feeling defeated and exhausted, I arrived home with multiple lessons learned. Today, as I sit in front of this computer typing, I am drinking water, stretching out my quad and vowing to submit to a NUTRITIOUS diet -- that is, at least before I run. Time to mentally prepare for the next training run.