My Birthday Obessesion

Despite my excitement for the upcoming race and fulfillment with my training and progress, I can't shake the recent disappointment of discovering that Chicago registration is closed. No big deal though, right? Run another fall marathon and get on that registration! Wrong. October 7th is my birthday and this year, I have it in my head that I'm going to run a marathon on that day. It's not a milestone birthday by any stretch, just another 20-something, but I feel that I have a lot to prove to myself this year. And my sense of unfulfilled ambition is growing stronger by the minute, much of which fuels my training.

As I sit in front my computer and look around my apartment, filled with books and photographs of loved ones, I realize that I have much to be grateful for. And as a little voice in my head tries to remind me everyday, never take what you have for granted because the moment you do (for those of you who are spiritual), they'll slowly be taken away from you.

That said, I have a healthy, happy, beautiful two-year-old daughter who inspires me everyday to be a better person. I have a loving and supportive community of people in my life who always help out in whatever capacity, our non-traditional family. I have a local community that I am involved with and feel that I have a vested interest in advancing the opportunities and skills of the next generation. I have a great job as a research associate and am basically paid to do exactly what I one day hope to do on my own. I am enrolled in a world-class University that inspires my sense of social justice everyday as well as my unquenchable search for knowledge--any other life for me just seems too boring. And finally, I have my health.

I always want to improve my relationships with my family and friends, however, and sometimes worry myself over some of the imperfections, forgetting so much of the good. I often feel that I don't give enough time to the community center that I am involved with and sometimes agonize over the next workshop or historical event in Asian American history with which to discuss with them. I overwhelm myself with school, never happy enough with the current paper and always thinking of the next. Worse, I let my journey to graduate programs, in hopes of one day entering the academy, often minimize all the work I have accomplished thus far as an undergrad. And my health? Well, it seems that I'm never fit or fast enough by my own standards.

I'm sure that all ambitious individuals have a similar sense of self-criticism, but I know that for myself, it will always be a constant battle to keep myself in check and to constantly exercise gratitude for all that I have in my life. Really, I know I should be so lucky.

A birthday marathon, however, is symbolic for me right now. Mainly because everything I have accomplished in my life has been a slow, diligent mileage build-up to get Anna and myself in a comfortable and fulfilling place in our lives. So, I'd really like to run this race for Anna as well--so that she can understand how important the day to day in life can be, the way training runs are so significant, yet fulfilling to the runner. And while I'm young and long from 'peaking', I want to honor my health and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Certainly, the benefits of diligent training inspire other aspects of one's life and I am no exception.

And speaking of training, I'm about to head out for my 6-mile tempo run. On the dreadmill. With my cheesey iPod playlists. Because it's stormy outside and cold (despite the record high of 85 degrees just yesterday). And I'm going to enjoy it (though I expect some pain). Because the Ann Arbor Dexter Run is exactly one week away, and I've been excited about running this esteemed and festive race all spring.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to keep on obsessing over my birthday marathon because I'm SURE that there's another October 7 marathon out there with my name on it.

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1:33 p.m.

For the past couple of runs I've noticed that the front portion of my knee is always stiff. The mild pain always subsides within the first mile but today, I noted to myself to make sure that I ice my knee once I'm finished. On top of that, it became very clear that I need to get a new pair of running shoes as well. The 'palm' of my left foot has been consistently sore due to wear on the soles of my shoe, I'm sure.

Workout Summary:
1 mile Warm-up @ 10:30
5 mins @ 9:30 Tempo
3 mins @ 11:00 Recovery
Repeat three times
2 mile Cool Down @ 10:30

Weight: 116 lbs