Registration for The Rat Race

I've been able to reflect on a conversation with some family friends as I sit here, baggy-eyed, in front of my computer finishing up a should-be-publishable paper and finalizing a list of Ph.D. and other graduate programs to apply to this fall. My friend innocently asked, as she imagined her two-year-old son as a future American high schooler:

High school in the United States isn't as bad as they portray it to be in the movies, is it? I mean, with the way they treat nerdy kids (already she assumes her son will be a nerdy Asian kid)? I want him to excel in school but I worry about how he'll be treated, etc.

I was surprised by my response:

Actually, I think it's worse; because being 'cool' not only means being the varsity jock but also being the straight 'A' student, social butterfly, and champion of community service. Basically, the creme de la creme of American high schoolers should be the best at everything.

Whoa.

And so, I unwittingly sign myself up for The Rat Race. I mean, did my childhood experiences really lead me to believe that this is true? Well, obviously it did but to this day, it's hard to wrap my brain around this unrelenting sense of elitism that I find harder to shake than an addiction to crack (despite never actually having done crack - i swear).

So far, I'm proud to describe my life as being nothing short of audacious. I have learned how to love and live life to its fullest while overcoming the challenges that I can only describe as my remedial emotional intellect. But I am still coming to terms with keeping my sense of unfulfilled ambition in check. Because, yes, at times I have the tendency to be the best at everything for all the wrong reasons, whether by my own standards or by those set by the U.S. News Rankings and other bogus institutions that I allow at times to rule my life.

It is also ironic that despite my strong sense of social justice, I have already concluded that my comparative advantage with the struggle is on the research end. Indeed, my desire for a life in academe and disdain for any 9-5 job where I must answer to another human being other than myself pretty much secures my place as a certain classification of MISANTHROPE.

And so it is that I have a newfound romance with Running. Because in our solitude we are developing a trust - a trust that I will take care of my body so that Running will be happy. If I don't, Running will call me out and keep me in check. And when we're together, Running will make me feel better when I'm sad. And when I'm pensive, Running will help me hash out my thoughts and remind me, with our existential excursions, that a balance with mind, body, and spirit is necessary to my being a good mother, person and advocate of the change I want to see in this world.

More to the point, my relationship with Running is absent of the bullshit that I allow to get in the way of my honestly, living my life. Because with Running, I understand that I'm the only one who can hurt me. With Running, the progress is real and so is the pain.

So today, I'd like to withhold my registration to The Rat Race and bask in the glory of another great excursion with Running. Lots of room for improvement (my splits are all over the place) but great nonetheless:

8.69 miles | 1:18:51 time | 9:04 avg pace
1- 8:31
2- 8:41
3- 9:04
4- 9:08
5- 9:20
6- 8:50
7- 9:17
8- 9:31

Cheers to not selling out, people!